Date: Tue, 22 Apr 1997
From: Ron Worsham
To: Sharon Buntz
Please remove me from your junk mail listing. Altho' I must admit that your tripe is of a slightly higher (quality?) than some, it still causes waves of nausea and severe abdominal cramping. No amount of Pepto can reduce these sypmtoms, and I appeal to your questionable sense of honor to give me relief from this kaka. Knowing full well that you have dedicated a part of your life to passing (gas?) this skat to other like-minded people, I must tell you that I do not consider myself one of them. Granted, I have been known to throw a bit of the poop around, but it at least showed some originality. To pass on your own corn is bad enough, but to plagiarize low-brow dung and electronically cause it to multiply is a sin against real humor. Please seek professional help as soon as you come to your senses, assuming it's not too late. And, for the sake of all those who actually do possess a true wit, please do not pollute innocent minds with the idea that what you grunt out is supposed to be funny. I would hope that you could remain true to your nature as witless, and would refrain from a blatantly artificial attempt at hilarity.
Thank you in advance. Salutation.