Top 12 Things Likely to be said by a Klingon Programmer
via my PB e-buddy with a sense of humor Kevin Ridley and
my PFC-gifted TeamSybase friend, John Olson
"Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
"This machine is a piece of GAGHK! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to
do battle with this code!"
"You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original
Klingon."
"Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!"
"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance
people in its wake."
"Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - They have 'arguments' -
And they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
"Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
weak."
"I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
They will not concern us again."
"A TRUE Klingon Programmer does not comment his code!"
"By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to
die!"
"You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
stand!"
"Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship
it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!"